Now I Am Guided

Muhammad Bin Abdulla (Bangladesh)

It was easy for me. Now I wonder how easy it was for me, something that is so difficult for others to achieve. Leaving one's religion seems suicidal. It seems to leave you psychologically an orphan and an outcast, since it brings hot waves of hatred from family, relatives, friends, society, workplace, and everywhere. However, before I left Islam it filled a need. Some moments are bound to come in life when we feel defeated, deserted, hopeless, and helpless. I admit that in those difficult moments one must have a place to go to, to beg without shame. Religion is the champion to fill the mental vacuum in those difficult moments. For me it was Islam.

And now it is no more. It was a slow, steady, and logical metamorphosis from a dark jail of humiliating, blind slavery to bright freedom, which can withstand any threat, temptation, greed or fear. I consider it the greatest achievement of my life. Thankfully it did not originate from any personal trauma, which could have fogged my vision. My disillusionment with Islam came from dependable sources like experience of life, decades of study of the Koran, Sahih Bukhari, biography of the Prophet, and history of Muslims written by Muslim Maulanas.

Want to have an unbelievably colorful journey through your own faith? Come with me. I will make you spellbound with utter surprise, pain, disbelief, and freedom at the end. You don't have to be a big scientist or academician; a little common sense will clearly show you a truth totally opposite what you have been shown and taught since childhood, if you are a Muslim.

I saw a well-equipped invading army indiscriminately killing millions of civilians and raping two hundred thousand women. Eight million uprooted people walked barefoot to take refuge in a neighboring country. The institution of Islamic leadership supported the invading army actively in capturing and killing freedom fighters and non-Muslims and raping women on a massive scale. Each of four thousand mosques became the ideological powerhouses of the masskillers and mass-rapists. And these killers and rapists, these Islamists, were the same people of the same land as the freedom fighters and raped women. That was the civilians of Bangladesh and the killer army of Pakistan in 1971. All the Muslim countries and communities of the world either stood idle or actively sided with the killers and rapists in the name of Islam.

The message was clear. Something was very wrong, either with all the Islamic leaders or with Islam itself. How could each of the thousands of Islamic leaders have turned into killers and helpers of the killers?

Books invited me with open arms. I got hooked on the Koran, the 7,397 Sahih (authentic or sound) hadiths of al-Bukhari, Islamic jistory, biography of the Prophet, Shari'a (Islamic law) of different sects, and hundreds of other issues of Islam. Books, the Internet, conventions, gatherings, Islamic lectures, cassettes, and videos crowded my study. The Earth kept revolving around the Sun silently. My life slowly went upside down, the real and final truth of my faith started moving in pain in the womb of time. All my other hobbies stepped back and started watching me curiously from a distance. When all this information was correlated, I started writing in the media and experienced interaction with people of all kind. Some praised me; some were inquisitive. Some wanted to cook me alive. I was on guard so that praise and hatred would not affect my vision. Decades passed; a mysterious door of truth started opening very slowly. Beautiful light came in. Things became clear, I was perplexed. Yes, yes, and yes. All those 1.2 billion Muslims are wrong. They are trapped in a wishful utopia, a fancy romantic dream-palace called Islam. All of them are wrong, just as all the people of the world were wrong when they used to believe that Earth was flat.

Muslim's beautiful palace of Islam floats in the air without any pillar of truth. They do not know. They do not want to know, they will never know it. While most Muslims pass peaceful lives, Islam is a perfect breeding ground for some killer maulanas to spring up time to time. They take their life force from the cruel instructions of the Koran and the Prophet's life. And the peaceful Muslims' obsession in the name of faith (iman) actively strengthens the killer Islamists. Muslims are taught to blindly believe every word of Koran and save the letters and words of the Koran and hadith even at the cost of human lives of other sects, women and non-Muslims.

My intense study continued. In Muhammad's biography, Sahih hadith of alBukhari, and Islamic history, I faced the unbelievable cruelty of the Prophet. I saw his enormous leadership, kindness, and forgiveness in cases of personal torture on him in the early, weak days of Islam. And only those incidents are always told to Muslims, not his cruelties of later years. During the early period of Islam his dedication was remarkable. When money and women were offered to him to stop preaching Islam, he declared, "Even if I am given the sun in one hand and the moon in the other, I won't stop preaching." And I also saw the same Prophet involved in slaughtering non-Muslim tribes, selling slaves of all ages, men and women, kids, young and old. I saw him driving his followers to kill others on the basis of faith, sleeping with his slave girls, marrying children, his lust (vividly described in our books) for his own daughter-in-law (the wife of his adopted son), grabbing the properties of non-Muslims and taking their most beautiful women, having sex within days of the slaughter of the women's husbands and fathers. Also I saw his extreme cruelty to establish Islam, cutting off hands and feet and passing red-hot iron in the eyes of his enemies before killing them, his cursing of non-Muslims, burning their orchards, destroying their idols. I saw him killing his enemy in sleep, permitting lying to his companion to kill opponents, his political game of deceiving during Khandak, hypnotizing his followers even to kill their non-Muslim fathers, brothers, and relatives. These are all recorded in our books, including Sahih hadith, which I study. Of course I saw him establishing some unprecedented rights of women, then again setting cruel laws and insulting status for the same women. And yet he remains as "mercy to the whole world" to his mesmerized followers. No doubt from the desert of an incredible distance of fourteen hundred years, he still remains as mankind's "most influential man."

I faced the truth of the mess of the Koran and hadith. The Koran does not contain a single humane teaching that was not here before Islam. Mankind will not lose a single moral precept if Islam is not there tomorrow. Saying good words is easy; all those good words in the Koran can be said by any conscientious person, even an atheist. The Koran has a big portion dedicated to clear violence toward non-Muslims and Jews. There is no question of so-called misinterpretation. You cannot misinterpret "killing" as "kissing," or vice versa. Muslims did not misinterpret wife beating, marrying four wives, divorcing at will without showing any reason or excuse to anybody, sleeping with unlimited slave girls, getting involved in slave business, "cleaning" the Arab Peninsula of pagans, women's half inheritance, women's less credible witness in the court, or laws crushing non-Muslims. Umar did not misinterpret anything, but obeyed one of the Prophet's last three instructions when he "cleared" the Arabian Desert of non-Muslims. Don't we still see some of those torturous claws of Islamic "values" in some "laws" of Nigeria, Pakistan, and Afghanistan?

Unlike other religions, Islam controls Muslims in every second in every act, including using the left foot to step out and right foot to come into the house. It dangerously forces Muslims to establish an Islamic state even if it involves violence and killing non-Muslims. The Koran has no chronology. Some eighty-six thousand elements are sorted, divided, and blended there in a horrible, messy way. For any single topic, one has to jump around the whole Koran only to find one sentence here and another sentence there. Extremely important rules and laws are kept vague and dangerously left open to various interpretations and application by people of any depth and morals. There is no confirmation of the final instruction in case of different instruction on the same issue. The topic suddenly changes from North Pole to South Pole in the next line. Natural calamities are used as threats. The Koran's effort to trap people by scaring them is evident. An effort to hook people by lowly "bait," like sex with beautiful women in heaven, is also evident. These attitudes do not suit the grace and honor of a divine religion.

Islam is extrasensitive to and excessively obsessed with sex. Koranic handling of sex is crazy and overactive. Sleeping with slave girls is allowed without marrying them, but sex beyond wives and slave girls, even between consenting adults, is considered as one of the most, if not the most, destructive crimes in heaven and on Earth. Islam behaves as if all men of the world would jump on any woman at the first chance. To "protect" humankind from "sexual crime," Islam could not go beyond keeping women covered and segregated. Moral education with application of law and punishment was not given proper importance. That is an insult to men with morals and enlightenment. The whole attitude toward sex is seriously and clearly tilted in favor of men against women. The Koran did not foresee devastating crimes like genocide and mass-rape to put before so-called sex crimes. The Koran promises food for each person, but millions of people have died of starvation in the last thousand years. The Koran declares mercy to its followers but could not save hundreds of Hajis from burning to death in a fire during hajj.

In Islam human beings are used as coins to buy God's pleasure, as in the case of freeing slaves for "cleansing" from sin. Rich people are preferred as being able to free slaves and to perform hajj. Human beings are declared as enemies of God. Burning meteorites in the sky are described as arrows to Satan. Jinns are said to climb to the sky to listen to the gossip of the angels. The prophet Moses is described as running on the crowded road completely naked. Monkeys were stoned for adultery. After it "sets," the sun is described as prostrating itself to God to seek permission to rise the next day. Newborns are said to cry because Satan pinches them on their bodies. Yawning is said to be to God's disliking. Every aspect of Islamic attraction of heaven is attributable only to the desert. Not a thing in the Koran is beyond the precinct of Arabia. All its prophets and characters, problems and solutions, hopes and aspirations, incidents and accidents revolve around the only ancient Middle East. I have all these books with me, written by our maulanas. While not a single prophet of Islam is beyond the Middle East, all the gods of the Hindus are from India.

After consulting the Koran, the hadith, the Prophet's biography, and Islamic history for years with a guarded open mind, I related the past to the present. People tried reforming Islam. It never worked. Again and again Islam was mortgaged in the hands of killer leadership, while the rest of Muslim world only said, "This is not real Islam." It is indeed dangerous to humankind that nothing can stop Islam from breeding cruel killers time and time again. That is because many of the Prophet's deeds and Koranic instruction are always alive there to act as fertile ground for breeding killers. Things happened in Palestine, Chechnya, Bosnia, Kashmir, Indonesia, Egypt, Pakistan, and Bangladesh. The catastrophe of September 11 shook the whole world. I expected conflicting decisions of Islamic leadership in favor and against bin Laden based on geographic region. And how true my intuition was! Major Islamic leadership in North America and Europe "Islamically" denounced the cruelty of killing thousands by bin Laden. And the same leadership of the same Islam in Pakistan, England, and Muslim majority countries "Islamically" supported him as a hero. Once again the dual character of Islam became clear. Islam has two sets of teeth, like elephants. One is ivory, which makes it elegant and majestic. The other set of teeth is hidden inside its jaws and is used to chew and crush. All those sweet peace talks of Islam relate to the time and place of weak Islam in early years. But whenever and wherever Muslims were and are strong, they have another set of cruel laws and conduct. Tell me why the national flags of many Muslim countries have swords on the them. A sword is not for shaving beards, it is only for killing. With the hypocrisy and cunning game of sweet advice and cruel laws, the Koran has conclusively emerged as the most dangerous book for mankind as a whole.

The huge Muslim population of the Third World is frustrated because of various socioeconomic-political failures. The Islamic leadership there is completely ignorant of any solution to modern problems of international economics, national and international politics, sociology, and so on. It is only a century ago that the Islamic leaders started relating those failures to their faith. The Koran and hadith are the only things they knew. The Koran and hadith dangerously contain strong promises to Muslims to offer all the solutions of all the problems of the world for all time. So they were left with only one destiny: the violence embedded in the Koran and the biography of the Prophet. No other religion promises or demands so much at every step in life as Islam does. It urges Muslims to establish Islamic states and governments and to establish the Sharila. A Muslim's life is never complete without that. This attitude served a strong purpose back fourteen hundred years ago, but now it has become a big liability for humankind, for Islam itself and Muslims themselves. This was a trap and they are still trapped in it. If Islam talks about any peace, it is the peace of the graveyard of non-Muslims, as proven from the biography of the Prophet to September 11, 2001, in New York.

Frustrated people, including Muslims and former Muslims, have been criti cizing Islam increasingly. The world is so thirsty for social justice! If Islam could give a peaceful, just social system, as it promises, the whole world would embrace Islam. Instead, Islam today is a social liability to mankind as its leaders cause tremendous problem for human progress. It is true that if most of the Islamic leaders are wrong, there is something seriously wrong in Islam itself. The Prophet's cruelty to humankind and the continuous failure and violence of Islamic leaders are reasons enough to reject him and his religion. His attitude toward slaves, women, and non-Muslims clearly shows his limitation as only a talented human being with a clear vision of his goal without worrying about the cruel means of achieving that goal. There simply cannot be any divinity in cruelty to mankind.

The only reason behind Islam's establishment is the continuous support of the Muslim rulers for seven hundred to eight hundred years. Apart from that, Islam is nothing but another explosion of military power in human history, which died down with time. The only difference is, it was blended with divine faith in Islam's case. And as the faith spread, so did the Arabian language and dress, along with respect for Arabian fruits, water, and the like; that is imperialism with a coating of faith. The ritual of Qurban, the "sacrifice," did not do any good to Muslims. It is nothing but slaughtering animals in the name of God to have a grand feast. It referred to the prophet Abraham, who left his wife and child in the open desert to die. Islam makes Muslims criticize social evils in other societies, but is blind to its own cruelties. It claims science in the Koran only after something is discovered, never before. And it ignores the fact that those scientists never embraced Islam. Islam hijacks the fruits of Muslim scientists as gifts of Islam.

Throughout my life I looked for any single moral code that was brought by Islam anew. There is simply none. All those Islamic social, familial, and other morals and sweet advice had always existed in the human mind long before Islam. Also, it is extremely unfair and dishonest to propagate the myth that before Islam the whole world was in "darkness." This is a shameless denial of so many thinkers' and philosophers' great contributions to human progress before Islam. We have ample proof that some societies before Islam had in fact more balanced, clear, and humane laws than the cruel imbalanced Shari'a laws of Islam. To be honest, I always felt ashamed whenever I read my books of Shari`a laws, both from Sunnis and Shia. Islam definitely cleared up some primitive social systems of the ignorant desert people of that time. But its claim to bring "light" to the whole world is an insult to previous philosophers and scientists of all time in all places.

Society is driven less by constitutions, more by moral and applied institutions. That is why a country like England could be one of the most glorious nations of the world without a vividly written constitution. Islam as both an institution and a constitution failed measurably for all time. The bulk of world Muslims pass peaceful lives for two reasons. First, cruelty does not suit commoners continuously. Second, the cruel aspects of Islam are never disclosed to commoners. I say it again. If tomorrow morning there is no Islam on this planet, humankind has no sociofamilial value to lose except the occasional violence of a stubborn religious community that suffers from an artificial and dangerous superiority complex as the "best nation of mankind" with a "divine" license to look down upon others, both declared by their Koran.

I not only left Islam myself. I am leaving my vision in this article to talk for me when I am not here. I openly declare that anybody studying the Koran, Sahth hadith of al-Bukhari. the Prophet's biography, and the history of Muslims will have no way but to agree with what I said here. I am also teaching my kids to become decent and complete human beings with a concept of human brotherhood, which has been so much insulted and devastated by the dangerous concept and practice of Islamic brotherhood. I am teaching them to be guided by conscience, not by blind faith. Yes, now I am guided.

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